Mother's Voice

In her voice it rings out
like a church bell-reminder
"look both ways and listen"
well, I try not to mind her.

It's the cheap shot of wisdom
rimmed with salt and regret
at each wrong turn I take
and rejection I get.

Yes, in hindsight I see
the signs clear to the letter
(I detest how between us
she knew me the better).

And now that she's passed
the one thing she's left me?
phrases stuck in my head
(she repeats them politely)

I look up holding back
the stream filling my eyes,
and a voice bursting forth
unintelligible cries

at the face of a dead sky
and an endless oblivion:
"Just a whole-lot of nothing!"
in my expert opinion.

The darkness felt blinding
without course but to listen
but in fact it allows for
the small stars to glisten.

In the daylight they hide
all their twinkle and spark
shining only as skies
become frightfully dark.

I watched as they teetered
between light and black.
Even stars have an off switch,
I could cut me some slack.

They blinked looking down
on this speck on the earth.
Not the first soul this eon
to question life's worth.

As I hung my head down,
see my feet surely planted
not by choice nor by chance,
it's a privilege granted

I'm beginning to learn
where to look, how to listen,
on this journey to live
in this life I've been given.