Swan Song

[written after Ozarks]

Didn't know this was coming
Should've known, should've known
All those times in your presence
When I felt so alone.

Do I care what the reason?
I can't lend this more sense
when you preface each statement
with "in my defense"

You offer me half --
A fair share on this trade?
Do you know what I've wagered
for this life that we've made?

So I'll take all for all
or my half of your heart,
or fulfil the arrangement
to let death do us part

Lost Treasure

I've searched the sky
past its midnight hours,
seen the sun's hot gaze
through the meteor showers

Touched the fresh wind-blown snow
on the ancient places
as I climbed the scowls etched
on the cliff's granite faces

Treasures for miles
Free for all and anyone
Wish I knew what I had,
can't undo what's been done.

Long obsessed, I discovered
this fabled cave of wonder
(where jewels serve as mere mats
for more valuable plunder).

At the end of this quest,
without means to be saved,
I die a rich man,
all this wealth at my grave.

An end all of us face.
Like these gold sands of time
they escape past my grasp
as I leave all behind...

The Old Man

Embers by the fire
darkened snowflakes seeking rest.
A flight on gustless wings
looking to end a futile quest.

Oh.. but the scent of hearth
simmering gently in its shade
where it dances, barely noticed
as the dimming firelights fade.

It warms a hungry mouth,
a memory dancing on his tongue
tasting sharply of a time
when he'd despised being so young

Mother's Voice

In her voice it rings out
like a church bell-reminder
"look both ways and listen"
well, I try not to mind her.

It's the cheap shot of wisdom
rimmed with salt and regret
at each wrong turn I take
and rejection I get.

Yes, in hindsight I see
the signs clear to the letter
(I detest how between us
she knew me the better).

And now that she's passed
the one thing she's left me?
phrases stuck in my head
(she repeats them politely)

I look up holding back
the stream filling my eyes,
and a voice bursting forth
unintelligible cries

at the face of a dead sky
and an endless oblivion:
"Just a whole-lot of nothing!"
in my expert opinion.

The darkness felt blinding
without course but to listen
but in fact it allows for
the small stars to glisten.

In the daylight they hide
all their twinkle and spark
shining only as skies
become frightfully dark.

I watched as they teetered
between light and black.
Even stars have an off switch,
I could cut me some slack.

They blinked looking down
on this speck on the earth.
Not the first soul this eon
to question life's worth.

As I hung my head down,
see my feet surely planted
not by choice nor by chance,
it's a privilege granted

I'm beginning to learn
where to look, how to listen,
on this journey to live
in this life I've been given.

NYC

Train side plane side 
car rides
I'd look ahead
but it's just someone else's backside

This is what it means
To be on your own
When the crowd pulsing around you
Leaves you knowing you're alone

I know where I'm going
But my mind's as lost as ever
Watching watercolor sceneries
As these places blur together

Sitting still on that seat
Still moving while I rest my feet
But no rest can ever come To those who know...

There's so much further yet to go.

The Crush

You come by and lean in

I blush, close my eyes

While you give the details

of some hot date last night.

But don't stop me from dreaming

That one fateful day

You'll come to your senses

and see me that way.

This new one you're chasing

You're already caught

In those goldilocks curls and

That bottom she's got.

While I'm just the girl

you can pour your heart to
and it says, in its rhythm:

"he doesn't love you."

You call me to say

she's walked out of your system

that this time you'll hear me

and finally listen.

But I'm not the girl

who's choice number 2.

I can finally say it:

"I'm so over you."

The Gift

Hold on to the string with a teasing tug,

give a gentle shake, an innocent shrug.

You'll soon find the secret kept within

but until then: don't rush in.

See the watching world hold still for you.

Smell the air and breathe this perfect view.

Feel the ticking heart that pounds within.

Make the moment last: please don't rush in.

We forget as fast as the sunlight fades

each sun always sets a new sky ablaze.

The falling leaves and melting frost -

these wonders, too, once gone are lost.

Hold on to the string, that mile-long smile

that feeling only lasts this while.

That glow, that spark you hold within

is part of the gift, so don't rush in.